liv | Reading

The soft skirt swirled around her legs
falling gently to her feet.
She stared into the mirror,
thinking ‘is this it?’

But there were others.
What if she failed
to recognise the perfect one?
The only one.

The heap of discarded
dress filled the cubicle,
as certainty eluded her
and nothing was ‘it’.

She was exhausted,
as each dress became
just another question
How could she decide?

Then behind the pile
she suddenly saw it,
deep black velvet
reflecting her fears.

The perfect dress.
It fitted her just right,
that dress of midnight black
for a wedding she didn’t want.

Moooooood accomplished

andrewducker

Two weeks after seeing the CGI Lilo and Stitch at the cinema I'm watching the original with the kids. And it's so much better. The direction, the writing, the acting are all just much higher quality.

The remake felt much clumsier. And I don't really understand why.

Edit: Just realised that they entirely cut the Ugly Duckling part from the remake. Why would you do that? It's key to Stitch's arc!
And all of the bits where Lilo how to be like Elvis.

In fact, nearly all of the bits where Lilo talked to Stitch and built a relationship with him.

andrewducker

1. Australian politicians do not mince words: (tags:australia politics video )
2. An Australian piece on why 25 degrees really is hot in the UK: (tags:temperature architecture climate uk australia video )

rmc28

On an ice hockey camp in Slaný, near Prague. I flew out on Thursday afternoon with two friends from Kodiaks. We arrived at the rink hotel in time to check in, have a little walk down to the nearby supermarket and get food, and settle in for the night. For reasons the three of us were all sharing a dormitory room the first night, and we decided the perfect film to watch over our picnic dinner was Inside Out 2 - also set at a 3-day hockey camp. I hadn't seen it before, though the other two had, and I enjoyed it very much.

Friday morning was pretty relaxed; a fourth Kodiak joined us after leaving home at awful-o-clock in the morning, and we were moved into the nicer ensuite twin rooms in pairs for the rest of the camp. We met in the dressing room at 1pm, were on ice at 2pm and again at 6pm, with a stickhandling session in between. Then dinner at 8 and falling into bed not long after.

It's excellent coaching, I'm being pushed well out of my comfort zone and the balance of drill and rest in each session and between sessions is just right. I hit my "cannot actually skate any more" limit about 3 minutes before the end of the last ice session.

Today will be two ice sessions at either end of the day, with video review (argh), optional swim+spa (yes!), and stickhandling again in between. My muscles this morning are making themselves known but I'm not exhausted. All is good. Time to go get changed.

redbird

I fear that I may have developed an allergy to strawberries.

Cattitude came home from the farmers market with two quarts of strawberries, so we sat down to eat strawberries this evening. Adrian washed a plateful of the berries, and we all started eating.

They're very good strawberries, but I realized after eating a few that my lips were starting to itch. They were tasty enough that I had four or five more before saying anything. When I did, Adrian suggested I go wash my face. I rinsed my lips with plenty of cool water, took a benadryl, complained about the situation, and got Adrian to make me herb tea. I hope I haven't developed an allergy to a fruit I like, after eating them without problems for more than fifty years.

ETA, after responding to people's comments:

It may not be just strawberries. Raw kiwi makes my mouth itch, and I think I remember having a problem with the kiwi on a mixed fruit tart. Possibly-underripe figs also made my mouth itch once, but cooked figs (fig Newton cookies) are OK, and a fig that was ripe enough to fall off the tree at my feet was fine. I think I need to do some reading.

Moooooood unhappy

redbird

I had telemedicine with the GI doctor this morning. ( mostly for my own reference )

skibbley

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

hunningham

Yes, much better now. I spent Wednesday being very pathetic & spent far too long on reddit reading /r/relationships & aita & bestofredditupdates. Not really recommended, will make you think the worst of people but I did find some gems.

Young man has girlfriend problems, it's 4am, he's tired & emotional, and he posts to /r/fantasyfootball instead of /r/relationships And gets some surprisingly thoughtful advice back

Another young man finds his girlfriend is lying to him This story did not go where I was expecting. I can safely say that no one expected this. Very sweet, very wholesome, very whut just happened there?

maju

I was just coming back from an hour's walk early this morning, all sweaty and with my hair frizzing all over the place, when I met my across-the-cul de sac neighbour walking her dog. She told me I was looking amazing; I said I guessed it was the early morning humidity giving me a glow.

Today I've made a large batch of tomato sauce for pasta in the slow cooker, enough to last for almost two weeks if that's all I eat for dinners. If I have to cook, that's the way to do it as far as I'm concerned.

I'm expecting to have to turn on the a/c soon, but so far I've avoided it by using a fan when I start to feel a bit too warm. I've just now moved a couple of fans into strategic positions, ready for action. The nights are still relatively cool so I can cool the house somewhat by opening all the windows in the early morning. The time will come when that won't work because the nights will be too warm, but not yet.

The sudden warmer weather has also inspired me to finally pack away the last of my winter clothes and take out my summer ones. At the same time, I forced myself to separate out some clothes I've had for years (decades in some cases) and don't wear anymore, and put them into a bag to go to Goodwill. I figure that since it's still some months until I'll be moving, I can chip away very gradually at sorting and disposing of things.

I ordered and received a bundle of small sturdy packing boxes for books a couple of days ago and I've been filling one every day with books to go to Friends of the Library for donation. Even working on just one box a day is rather emotionally taxing, I'm finding. I'd rather not have to get rid of any of the books in the house except a very few that don't interest me at all, but I'm making myself dispose of others that, although I enjoyed them, I'm pretty sure I'll never get around to reading again.

swaldman

In "Simon continues watching kids' shows".... After adoring seasons 1 and 2 of Hilda some years ago, I finally got around to S3 in the last few weeks.

It's less about Hilda, and more about her mother. As such, unfortunately it back-burners a lot of what made the first two episodes so wonderful: the dynamic of the three kids, the whimsy, Hilda's ability to make friends with everything she meets... in tackling darker and more serious themes it becomes a more serious show, and it suffers from it.

Still, it does wrap things up nicely and give the series a satisfying ending. And if you haven't watched Hilda, you really should - at least for S1-2. It takes 2-3 episodes to really get going.

oursin

Don't think I've previously either come across this or posted it, but who knows: Out on the Town: Magnus Hirschfeld and Berlin’s Third Sex: 'Years before the Weimar Republic’s well-chronicled freedoms, the 1904 non-fiction study Berlin’s Third Sex depicted an astonishingly diverse subculture of sexual outlaws in the German capital'.

***

Something else suitable for Pride Month: Rachel Carson and the Power of Queer Love (review):

provides an original and stirring account of a non-commodifying queer love between two women and nonhuman nature—a love that was the defining relationship of Carson’s life and yet has been downplayed in heteronormative tellings of her story. So, too, is Maxwell’s work a convincing argument for this queer love’s formative role in the writing of Silent Spring, as well as an empowering message about how embracing queer feelings might function as a catalyst for “political and personal power” in contemporary environmental politics.

***

I think I have some copies of The Pioneer journal associated with this club, but they are somewhere in the maelstrom (I am gearing up to Doing Something About this, having acquired intelligence of a body that will collect books for charity): The Pioneer Club (1892-1939): A ladies' club at the forefront of late Victorian social reform, which suffered a long, slow decline in the early 20th century.

***

Peter McLagan (1823-1900): Scotland’s first Black MP:

[S]ources suggest that McLagan’s mother was probably of Black Caribbean or Black African descent.... McLagan’s father, Peter McLagan (1774-1860)... enslaved over 400 people on his plantations and personal estate in Demerara.

In fact there is strong evidence as mentioned in that article that he was by no means the first Black MP. Issues of class and family connections clearly played a significant role up to the mid-C19th.

***

An ancient writing system confounding myths about Africa:

'How come a country that did not have a colonial past in Zambia had so many artefacts from Zambia in its collection?'"
In the 19th and early 20th Centuries Swedish explorers, ethnographers and botanists would pay to travel on British ships to Cape Town and then make their way inland by rail and foot.
....
The Swedish museum had not done any research on the cloaks - and the National Museums Board of Zambia was not even aware they existed.

***

Artist's work to restore damaged shell grotto (I put this in a short story once.) (My own theory is that it was originally A Folly. Doing things with shells was as I recall quite A Thing in the C18th and Mrs Delany and her mate the Duchess of Portland had a rather less concealed shell grotto?)

andrewducker

1. Waymo rides cost more than Uber or Lyft -- and people are paying anyway: (tags:taxi automation business )
2. How much is golfing at St. Andrews worth to the Scottish economy? (over $400m): (tags:golf Scotland business )
3. Recording orchestral music for a computer game (Bloodborne, Cleric Beast fight): (tags:games music video )
4. Why Israel Struck Iran Now: (tags:Israel Iran nuclearweapons )

oursin

Happy birthday,

arkessian and

ironed_orchid!

redbird

Cattitude and I got up at 5:45 so he could pill Kaja, preparatory to her dental surgery. Both the pilling and the medical care went well, and she is on soft food only for 10-14 days. Therefore Molly is too, and we have to give them different treats than the usual dental Greenies. (Kaja will also be getting anti-inflammatories for a couple of days, and gabapentin for five.)

I got email from my brother about Mom's estate. He has done the necessary formwork so Vanguard can give us the money from her account there, where we are co-beneficiaries. His share is already in his account existing account. I tried setting an account up online, which apparently failed at the last minute, so I called and got a helpful person to walk me through the process again, step by step. I had gotten far enough earlier to create security questions, including some that I can actually remember my answers to, and haven't used repeatedly elsewhere. Separately, I need to talk to someone at Amalgamated Bank about the account there, a joint account with both our names on it. I hope they'll let me, as co-owner, close the account and transfer the money elsewhere, rather than sending them a copy of the death certificate, getting the account just in my name, and then closing it.

Mark also said he's thinking of going to London next month to sort through Mom's belongings, photos, and paperwork. So he wants to know whether I'm going as well, and if so, what dates worth for me. (Putting this here so I'm less likely to forget to talk to Cattitude and Adrian and then write back to Mark.)

kaberett

I am already very very tired.

But.

In a magnificent example of Prosocial Mammals: yesterday, when we were like 3/4 of the way to site, I realised that I no longer had "migraine stabs" on my packing list because I had carefully arranged things so that stabs would be due on a Tuesday so I would never need to faff with stabs in a field again.

... which I completely forgot. Until. 3/4.

... so I put out a Wail addressed to Londoners who would be Heading To The Field, and one of them ACTUALLY WENT on the terrible multi-borough fetch quest to get me my stabs so I HAVE BEEN STABBED and was only one day late, not a week! which is probably going to make the next month much more pleasant! and I just. continue delighted about this.

There you go that's your anecdote of the day.

cosmolinguist

Today for work, I saw someone spell fisticuffs as "fisty cuffs" and a) that is adorable and b) it also makes me realize what a strange word fisticuffs is!

So naturally I looked it up.

c. 1600, fisty cuffes, from fist (n.) + cuff (n.) "a blow", with the form perhaps in imitation of handiwork.

Well! That's such a boring etymology, but... nice to see the spelling returned to something more like the original!

I said this on fedi and a friend's response has been delighting me ever since:

I always misread it as fishticuffs, so always had an image in my head of some kind of betta fish boxing, complete with gloves over fins

That made me giggle. They're an artist so I asked if they would draw this some time. I am wondering how a fish gets boxing gloves on its fins...

oursin

Okay, am v depressed by all the ongoing hoohah around AI and the people using it rather than their own brains, quite aside from Evil Exploitation aspect -

- but on intellectual pollution, having been moaning inwardly, banging the floor with my ebony cane and beating my head on my antimacassar for a considerable while over the awful errors that appear in prose because the word is correctly spelt but it is THE WRONG BLOODY WORD.

That the person who created that text has not picked up on, sigh, groan.

Insert here a lament for the decline in copy-editing and proof-reading, which might have spotted this sort of thing and corrected it.

I am a little worried that we are now have generations who do not know what words actually mean, because spell-check has not said anything .

This is brought to you by having encountered the term 'itinerary' deployed for something that is not, as far as I can see, a journey, but the programme/timetable for a meeting. Perhaps there is some sense of a progression to be made???

(The mermaids signing, each to each: that is why I cannot hear them.)

maju

10. If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today? I don't see why not, but I'd be extremely disappointed if I had to spend the day away from any of my family.

11. If today was the last day of your life, who would you call and what would you tell them? I would call my daughters and tell them I love them and I'm proud of them.

(I can't say I'm a fan of questions that start with "If today was the last day of your life…" It's too much of a reminder of how little time I've got left compared to how much I've already had.)

12. Who do you dream about? I don't normally dream about people, even people I know. although I have had a couple of dreams about S. Generally if people appear in my dreams they are strangers.

maju

My morning started off well enough; I woke up a couple of minutes before my alarm and was able to go for a good walk just after 6 am, while it was still pleasantly cool outside. Things went slightly off the rails while I was getting my breakfast ready though. I'm not sure exactly how it happened (I think I turned around too quickly) but I knocked over my cup of tea just as I was about to spread marmalade on my toast, and the hot tea spilled right onto the front of my right thigh. Luckily the tea wasn't quite still at boiling temperature, but I hadn't yet added milk so it was quite hot. I stepped out of my wet shorts as quickly as I could and then got into the bath and ran cold water over the leg for a while before going back to the kitchen to deal with the mess.

I was eventually able to make myself another cup of tea and warm up my toast, but breakfast wasn't as enjoyable as it might have been. My leg was quite painful for a couple of hours but it's feeling much better now. The burns are still very red but there doesn't appear to be any blistering. I was afraid it would be much worse than this.

Accidents like this are one reason why I'm nervous about living alone. I'll be relieved to be closer to my daughter in due time.

green_knight

Anyone can be shouty, edgy, and black.

There seems to be more than one band with a pink logo, but this song surely features the most metal instrument of all times:

the recorder.

Watch on YouTube

(For Germans: This is Torfrock. Brings back memories. I got there via Platt folk songs: Dat Du meen Leevsten büst -> Nakich bün ick gor nich mehr so schmuck (from recommendations - c'mon, I had to listen to that [*]) -> other Torfrock songs -> WTF???)

[*] There's an English language folk song, 'I just don't look good naked anymore' of which this is riffing off. And in typical Torfrock manner, it's a lot more direct. ('schmuck' is an adjective used for attractive people, so... yeah. I still understand a fair bit of it. Not all, though, which is annoying.).

Watch on YouTube

Moooooood amused

oursin

Happy birthday,

ase!

cofax7

Well I watched the Apple+ show Time Bandits, and it was hella fun! I particularly liked Bittelig and Penelope. But now I'm sad because it's been cancelled.

I am desperately trying not to get stressed out about The Omnishambles, but it's kind of hard.

Be safe, y'all!

china_shop

Haha, I just signed up for a free online Harvard course on a whim,[1] and having spent the last few months in the Three Billion Comments Club on

sid_guardian, naturally I'm diligently replying to people's comments in the discussion sections of the course, too. What could possibly go wrong?

(You don't have to reply to everyone, china! This is not your circus! /o\)

[1] Someone on my flist pointed out a while ago that there are a bunch of free online courses.

redbird

Last week:

*Cattitude read Blue Moose, by Daniel Pinkwater, aloud to us, because it's one of his favorites and Adrian had never read it. I've reread the book several times, and was happy to hear it out loud.

*I read Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil, by Oliver Darkshire. Decidedly weird, funny fantasy. A lot of the humor is in the footnotes, which seem to be at least a quarter of the text. Also, the title does in fact describe the book. Isabella lives in a poor, out-of-the-way village, whose wizard keeps the local goblin market in check, until one day he doesn't. The goblins sell one thing, unnaturally tempting and dangerous fruit.

*Did not finish: Girls Against God, by Jenny Hval. I don't remember where I saw this recommended, and just couldn't get into it.

Currently reading:

*Installment Immortality, by Seanan McGuire, the latest book in her InCryptid series. I started it late last night, and only read a few pages before turning the light out.

*Twelve Trees, by Daniel Lewis, nonfiction about trees and climate change. I picked this up at the libraru, as a "book with a green caover" for the summer reading challenge.

azurelunatic

Three shelves (10' length, more or less) have been assembled, put up on the north wall, and filled to great effect. This emptied 1 entire Billy (with slight double stacking). We therefore need bookends.

The empty Billy is now in the living room, with the top few shelves embookinated and various plastic craft-adjacent boxes on the lower shelves. This is making a significant dent in the chaos by my desk.

The shorter bookshelf is currently at the end of the hall, for lack of a better place to put it. I expect that if it stays there long, I will start racking up another set of incredible bruises, and I still don't know where the one on my right arm CAME from. (I remember that I walked into some corner on my sleepy and unstable way to bed and then went "well, THAT'll leave a mark!" but do I remember what that something WAS? No more than I remembered what things I'd rammed into when I was taking Drama in high school, and my legs were forever dotted with black and blue marks.)

Today after work, Belovedest has put up all the standards (upright rails) on the south wall, embracketed them with however many brackets we currently have, and has started to assemble board pieces into full length shelves.

Coincidentally, today I also got a notification from the hardware store that they are shipping the backordered brackets.

There is one free-loving* free-standing bookshelf remaining in the room, where it is cheerfully getting in the way. I suggested a different method of assembly which neither requires turning the boards lengthwise nor doing the assembly behind the Billy, which suggestion was well-received.

Eventually there will be enough Shelf in the media room that some of the things taking up floor space will be able to go on them.

Today I roused in the morning long enough to feel bleugh, then woke up in the afternoon feeling competent to Lounge. Still craving bacon at intervals.

* My high school freshman Biology class had a crucial typo in a sentence about free-living organisms. We reacted about how you'd expect.

kaberett

Okay. So.

Admin: the LRP has a variety of in-game resources. One of the more valuable ones is mithril, which gets used for all sorts of things, like armour and weaponry and building works, particularly military ones.

This event we are seeing the launch of The Cow Stock Market. This inevitably was a topic of discussion over this evening's pizza: discussion of the designs of the I Promise To Pay The Bearer On Demand One (1) Cow slips! speculation over Cow Futures! debate over the impact on the ~~gold~~ mithril standard!

It'll be fiiiiiiiiiine, says A. It'll all be TOTALLY fine. You can absolutely build fortifications out of cows!

-- and at this point, for those of you who are abruptly cackling, I need to point out that A has not read Nona the Ninth.

I also need to point out that I am in a specific groupchat, specifically set up following the event where someone managed to get their hands on some copies of Nona a few days before official release and there was consequently significant in-field bartering for who got to be next in the queue to inhale them, that is named after. well. the cows. did you know that cows have best friends.

But A had no idea why I was abruptly losing it, and I decided that rather than attempt to explain I was in fact first of all going to Depart Our Table, find my Nona dealers, and relate unto them the story of The Thing A, All Unawares, Just Said.

The reaction was extremely gratifying.

china_shop

Previous poll review
In the hair, there, and everywhair poll, 78% of respondents said they air dry, 35.6% towel dry roughly, 30.5% towel dry carefully / squeezingly, and 22% use a hair dryer or other device. (I towel dry carefully / squeezingly, then air dry. But I have thick, slow-drying hair, and I can’t sleep with it wet, so I use a hair dryer occasionally.)

In ticky-boxes, “a yawning cat broadcasting calm and satisfaction into the world” beat hugs, 71.2% to 67.8%! The power of ~~toxiplasmosis~~ cats on the internet! Thirty-six point two percent of respondents agreed that other people are, generally speaking, quite mysterious. Thank you for your votes!

Reading
The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander (The Chronicles of Prydain) -- Welsh children’s fantasy, and the first book in the trilogy that Disney’s The Black Cauldron is loosely based on. I’m not far into this yet, I haven’t read it before, and I've misplaced my kindle. But it starts well.

Unnatural Death by Dorothy L. Sayers, narrated by Robert Bathurst -- This ripped along very engagingly. I like that Whimsy isn’t falling over bodies left, right and centre à la Jessica Fletcher; he has to actually seek out cases, and I appreciated his sporting enthusiasm at the outset, and also that he feels it when his actions have consequences. Also, I loved the spinster assistant, Katharine Climpson -- I hope for more of her. (And I just spoiled myself for that on wikipedia, oops, but anyway, good to know she’ll be back.) Is it the Bellona Club next, or am I missing one?

Guardian by priest -- The readalong continues, along with its sixty million comments each week. :D

Argh, I got distracted and still haven’t finished or commented on the rest of the 520 Day collection. Note to self!!

Kdramas
Nada.

Other TV
Department Q -- We finished off the 9-episode season earlier this week. It’s rather messy (not all the mysteries and loose ends get tied up), and there are a few different flavours of police violence (messed-up cop losing control; very controlled cop “extracting” information; but not group or institutionalised/authorised violence that I recall), as well as the bad guys torturing the victim. If the season had been longer, I might have bailed. But it is very compelling, and Morck (Matthew Goode) is extremely watchable.

Doctor Who -- I think I’m just not the target audience for RTD’s style of story-telling. I’m really going to miss Gatwa on my screen, though.

Stick -- the first episode of Owen Wilson’s new Apple+ golf dramedy. It was okay. Good cast, but the problem with a show about golf is the lack of ~team~. I’m reserving judgement.

El Eternauta -- we’ve finished episode 2 now. It’s fascinatingly creepy. Has a pretty bleak view of human nature, but I’m intrigued to see where it goes. (I was advised to start it with as few spoilers as possible, so I know nothing. Please don’t tell me anything!)

Also, more Murderbot, Poker Face, and Turning Point: The Vietnam War.

Guardian/Fandom
Mostly I’ve just been doing the Guardian novel readalong, the Guardian drama polls, and allllll the discussion that goes along with them. ♥ ♥ ♥

Audio entertainment
Writing Excuses, and several episodes of Coherent, a podcast focusing on our Deputy Prime Minister's move to set up a sort-of equivalent of DOGE and turn us into a libertarian hellhole. Gah! (Locals, submissions on the Regulatory Standards Bill close on 1pm, Monday 23rd June.)

Writing/making things
Plugging away. Yesterday I posted a flashfic that I started in March last year. The first draft didn’t work and was wildly misguided (thanks to my beta for helping me realise that!), but I dusted it off and rebuilt it over the weekend, and I like how it turned out. I have a couple of other things in the works, too, and one day I’ll actually finish this ridiculous 13k-so-far gen fic. At least I’ve worked out why it was losing momentum, to wit, the longer a “missing scene” is, the more it needs to have its own build and climax, rather than relying on canon or narrative irony for the payoff. Unfortunately, the upshot of that is that I need an actual plot development.

I spent Monday’s writers’ hour looking for two story titles, and came up with one I really liked that doesn’t fit either fic. So I guess I also need to write a story to fit that title.

Life/health/mental state things
Optometrist and GP (for a laundry list of minor questions) this week. Both went fine. The weather is bitterly cold. I’ve been a bit headachy, but I’m mostly putting that down to needing new glasses.

Goals
Huh. I wonder if I should make some.

Link dump
Operation Spiderweb (wikipedia link; Ukraine’s strategic drone strike on Russia’s air capability) | From cat urine to gunpowder: Exploring the peculiar smells of outer space | Dynasty's Gay Journey - Killer Dads, Shoulderpads, and the Kiss that Rocked Hollywood (Youtube, 33:25, via a comment at

tv_talk). I have too many tabs open to rootle out more right now.

Good things
Writing. Writers’ hour. Beta. Guaaaardian. Chocolate. Cat. Andrew.

Poll #33240 The Tower

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 45

View Respondents

What kind of princess is in the tower?

View Answers

goblin princess
11 (24.4%)

elf princess
8 (17.8%)

vampire princess
6 (13.3%)

mermaid princess
4 (8.9%)

minotaur princess
15 (33.3%)

dragon princess
22 (48.9%)

troll princess
4 (8.9%)

orc princess
7 (15.6%)

cat
28 (62.2%)

other
4 (8.9%)

actually it's another-gendered member of royalty
17 (37.8%)

ticky-box full of intending to bake but not getting around to it
20 (44.4%)

ticky-box full of still resisting multi-focal lenses
7 (15.6%)

ticky-box of a squadron of rescue dragons who can exhale fire or water, as required
28 (62.2%)

ticky-box of clumsy fledgling puppies, tumbling all over each other out of the nest
21 (46.7%)

ticky-box of spoiler fairies leaving them under your pillow
12 (26.7%)

ticky-box full of hugs
31 (68.9%)

cosmolinguist

My ex-husband knows and thinks and cares so much about Brian Wilson that I feel like I shared a polycule with the man.

Wandering around the house tonight, doing the last chores of the evening while the Doof is finishing up, I hear "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times" and I still know all the words, still remember the pained 20somethings Andrew and I were when we met and he introduced me to this weird lonely musician and all his feelings which were also our weird lonely feelings.

There was always something terribly melancholy for me in Brian Wilson's music -- there's a demo of "Still I Dream of It" that used to make me so sad that just thinking about the song made me cry uncontrollably -- and all the more once I left my marriage and never really listened to the Beach Boys any more. And the odd time I hear them, on the radio or like now, I'm always a little thrown by how weird the commercially-released songs sound, without all the unreleased versions layered over them in my mind because those were more common in my marital home (like I said: Not a parasocial relationship for me, but a parasocial metamour).

D made sure I heard the news, and I texted Andrew once I did. I just couldn't let such a thing go by without saying I was thinking of him.

I think both Brian Wilson and Andrew eventually "found the thing they can put their heart and soul in to," as the song goes, and I'm really glad for that.

elf

I have been reading the TTRPG space on bluesky.

1) Everything is commercial. Soooo much "buy my thing." You might think there'd be a mix of "buy my thing" and "hey come watch/listen to our playthroughs" but no. It's all "buy my thing."

2) It's really, really hard to avoid D&D and Pathfinder.

3) I had managed to forget how wank in TTRPG spaces goes down. It's never just "D&D has taken over the hobby and that sucks." It has to include "people who play D&D are stupid/cowards/wimps/conformist shills." Possibly with a side of, "if people were paying attention to what's good, they would buy my thing..."

(I do not like D&D. I do not play D&D. I have thought many negative things about D&D, and about D&D evangelists. I have never thought the only reason people play D&D was because they were too stupid to look at other game systems. I am damn well aware there is a ton of inertia involved, plus the hassle of convincing your entire gaming group to try something different.)

4) We don't have any shared vocabulary and this is a problem. Or rather: We have some words - crunchy, rules-lite, narrative game, OSR, "role-play vs roll-play," meta-gaming, RAW, probably a few more - but we have zero agreement on what they actually mean, on which games or play styles fall under which term.

5) Unlike the fanfic communities, there has been no serious meta looking into what's changed when a former on-paper hobby went digital. There are blog posts and such, but they're scattered as hell. And 2/3 of the discussion is weird hand-wringing about what people will or won't buy, not about how the hobby itself changes when the rules are on a screen rather than paper.

+1) If there are discussion groups about TTRPGs-as-a-fandom, I can't find them. Dammit.

+2) Don't get me started on the gleeblor.

oursin

What I read

Gail Godwin, Getting to Know Death: A Meditation (2024) - rather slight, one for the completist, which I suppose I am.

Robert Rodi, Bitch Goddess (2014): 'told entirely through interviews, e-mails, fan magazine puff pieces, film reviews, shooting scripts, greeting cards, extortion notes, and court depositions', the story of the star of a lot of dire B-movies who has a later-life move into soap-stardom. I hadn't read this one before and it was a lot of campy fun.

TC Parker, Tradwife (2024) - another of those mystery/thrillers which riffs off true-crime style investigation - somebody here I think mentioned it? - I thought it went a few narrative twists too far though was pretty readable up till then.

On the go

Apart from those, still ticking on with Upton Sinclair, Wide Is The Gate (Lanny Budd, #4), boy I am glad that I am reading these in e-form, because they must be monstrous great bricks otherwise. In this one he actually ventures back to Germany, his marriage starts to crumble, he continues his delicate dance between all the various opposed interests in his life while managing to get support to the anti-Nazi/Fascist cause, Spain is now in the picture, and I have just seen a passing mention to Earl Russell being sent down for his Reno divorce (that wasn't quite the story, but one can quite imagine that was what gossip might have made of it 30 years down the line).

Up next

New Literary Review.

The three books for the essay review.

I think more Robert Rodi might be a nice change of pace from Lanny's ordeals.

maju

It's another pretty day, but very humid. I went for a run before 7 and came back drenched in sweat. (Of course that's normal for this time of year.) I was woken up around 11 pm by extremely heavy rain, but it didn't last very long and as far as I could tell it didn't rain at all after that.

I keep thinking I should do something different instead of keeping more or less to the same routine and the same pursuits every day, but I don't want to do things alone. One of my sisters is travelling in Australia with a caravan (with her husband) for a minimum of two years (they've been travelling for almost a year already), another sister and her husband are on a short road trip in Canada right now, and a third sister and her husband have just returned home from a six week hiking trip with their caravan in another state. (She hiked, her husband was backup with the car and caravan.) I am so envious of all of them because they still have someone to share travel adventures with.

pensnest

I did the cardio/toning class on Monday, and ventured back to Tough Yoga yesterday morning. I did everything (mostly on easy mode, but hey), and after lunch I was so exhausted I fell asleep.

My arms and inner thighs are still muttering at me, but today, I did useful work in the garden for a couple of hours. Something—I assume very hungry caterpillars—having eaten my lovingly cultivated kale and cauliflower plants, I bought defenses for them, and have planted the three extra kale plants I grew originally, plus seeds for kale, broccoli and Everlasting Spinach (we shall see), and the ~~four~~ ~~eight~~ ten red cabbage plants I picked up at the garden centre when purchasing the hoops and nets. Also a copious amount of hoeing, outright weeding, and put a couple more attempts at mange touts into the ground. There have been half a dozen or so peas on the m-t plants, but this is not a useful quantity.

Tonight, I go to the first evening of Drawing class!

green_knight

I wanted to make a post about shiny math rocks, and will do so at a later time, but my experience has been marred a bit by customer service issues.

( Same problem, different solutions )

Moooooood disappointed

cosmolinguist

I didn't write here yesterday, but what I said on fedi last night was 'Tomorrow is going to be an absolutely disgusting day at work: stressful meetings, grim topics to dwell on..."

The stressful meetings weren't as bad as I expected. Though they were tiring. Lots to think about.

Then some other stuff happened that inspired a household conversation about logistics. All fine, very glad we can do the things we can do. But, more to think about.

Then I got a letter inviting me to my first in-person PIP (UK welfare benefits for disabled people) assessment in a decade.

It's next week, on the day of an important work thing.

At 9 in the morning.

In a part of the city I don't know at all. I don't want D to drive me but I'll have to do a practice run myself if I want to get the bus there. They always pick weird buildings that look like all the other buildings, or some industrial park miles from anywhere, or something inaccessible.

Anyway, back to work: I now have to spend the afternoon paying close attention to the Government's spending review, which is bound to make me angry and frustrated.

andrewducker

1. UK sanctions Israeli ministers over Gaza comments: (tags:uk israel gaza )
2. Rough sleeping to be decriminalised in England and Wales: (tags:homelessness England law )
3. The pictures that show why the UK has run up a £49bn repair bill: (tags:UK infrastructure OhForFucksSake austerity )
4. Krakencoder predicts brain function 20x better than past methods: (tags:brain algorithms )

squirmelia

A busy day of immersive theatre and when I left it was pouring with rain, but when I walked through Blackfriars Station to the other side of the river, it magically stopped raining and I headed down to the foreshore!

It was quiet, as people had been put off by the rain.

Earlier in the day, in an Ambient Lit workshop, I had pretended to be a dog and chased pigeons. “Woof”, I said to the pigeons on the foreshore.

There were patches of metal objects, nails, screws, objects once used.

I picked up pipes, pottery sherds and pieces of glass, and also a tiny heart shaped sticker. Thanks for the love, dear Thames.

oursin

Happy birthday,

angevin and

spaceoperadiva!

lannamichaels

Title: And If You're Under Him, You Ain't Getting Over Him.
Author:

lannamichaels
Fandom: Vorkosigan Saga
Pairing: Ges Vorrutyer/Aral Vorkosigan, Ges Vorrutyer/Serg Vorbarra
Rating: R
A/N: The title is from New Rules, sung by Dua Lipa, written by Caroline Ailin, Emily Warren, and Ian Kirkpatrick.
Archives: Archive Of Our Own, SquidgeWorld

Summary: Ges Vorrutyer has ex-boyfriend problems.

( This has languished in Scrivener since 2019... )

china_shop

Title: Raw Nerves, Old Scars (5967 words) [Teen and Up]
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Relationships: Chu Shuzhi/Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, Shen Wei & Ye Zun, Da Qing & Zhao Yunlan
Characters: Zhao Yunlan, Shen Wei, Chu Shuzhi, Da Qing
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, (sort of), (except Ye Zun), Anger, effects of past trauma, Complicated Relationships, Poly Relationships, Shen Wei misses his didi, Zhao Yunlan hates Ye Zun, Zhao Yunlan is triggered, Loyalty, Friendship, Sharing Clothes, Unreliable Narration
Series: Part 3 of Breakage and Repair 'verse (CSZ/SW/ZYL)

Summary: Feel the anger and do it anyway.

I started this for the Anger prompt last year, and finished it (15 minutes after the deadline /o\) for the Charity prompt. Ha!

Liv's pals

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